A Conversation with Skye Eddy, Anthony DiCicco, and Tom Shields

Youth soccer in America has never offered more opportunities—or more complexity. In this Soccer Parenting webinar, Skye Eddy sits down with club leaders Anthony DiCicco and Tom Shields to discuss player development, parent stress, healthy club culture, league structures, leadership, and what it will take to create better experiences for young athletes.

Catch the complete conversation and video at SoccerParentResourceCenter.com

Key Takeaways

• Youth soccer’s biggest challenges are often structural, not individual.
• Healthy club culture starts with visible, communicative leadership.
• Parents play a critical role in supporting development without adding pressure.
• Environment matters more than short-term results.
• Raising standards requires accountability from adults throughout the ecosystem.

Section 1: Optimism and the Current State of Youth Soccer

Skye Eddy:

I want to start by acknowledging that both of you lead clubs in very different environments.

Anthony, you’re in Park City, where there isn’t a tremendous amount of competition among clubs. Tom, you’re in southern New Jersey, where there are numerous clubs and a highly competitive landscape. Despite those differences, you’re both coming out of one of the most demanding periods of the year: tryouts, team placements, and all of the emotions that come with them.

As we wrap up another season, I’d love to hear your perspective. What are you feeling optimistic about in youth soccer right now?

Finding Optimism in the Players

Anthony DiCicco:

One of the things I’ve been thinking about recently is how easy it can be to become cynical.

Years ago, Conan O’Brien spoke about cynicism after losing The Tonight Show. He said it was one of his least favorite qualities, and that has stuck with me.

In youth soccer, there are plenty of reasons to become cynical if you allow yourself to focus on the challenges. But what continues to give me hope is the players.

The kids are still optimistic. They’re still excited. Everything is still in front of them.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been assistant refereeing for some of our younger referees as they center their first matches. Watching their excitement and growth has been incredibly rewarding.

Just last night, I watched several of our younger players compete in one of the top divisions in Utah. It was a significant challenge for them, and they were outstanding.

Those moments matter.

The players’ experiences are unfolding in real time. While adults often get caught up in the complexities of youth soccer, most players are still focused on learning, improving, competing, and enjoying the game.

They don’t necessarily feel all of the noise that surrounds youth sports unless we project it onto them.

That’s where my optimism comes from.

The Lasting Value of Youth Sports

Tom Shields:

I feel very similarly.

A week ago, we held our annual senior banquet. It’s one of my favorite events of the year because it provides an opportunity to reflect on the entire youth soccer journey.

What always strikes me is that the conversations are rarely about championships, standings, or wins and losses.

Instead, players talk about friendships.

They talk about shared experiences.

They talk about adversity they overcame together.

They talk about lessons learned.

They talk about memories they’ll carry with them long after their playing careers end.

For me, those conversations represent everything youth sports should be.

They remind us that the true value of the experience isn’t found in a trophy cabinet. It’s found in relationships, personal growth, resilience, and the lifelong memories created along the way.

Despite all of the logistical challenges, league structures, tryouts, and pressures that exist in modern youth soccer, I remain optimistic because we still have the opportunity to create those meaningful experiences for young people.

At the end of the day, every child only gets one youth soccer journey.

We’re responsible for helping make it a positive one.

Are We Fighting Against the System?

Skye Eddy:

Listening to both of you, I’m struck by something.

Do you ever feel like you’re doing all of this in spite of the broader system?

Does it feel like you’re constantly fighting against structures, expectations, and pressures just to keep the focus where it belongs—on the players?

Does youth soccer feel harder than it needs to be?

Leading Through Complexity

Tom Shields:

Absolutely.

I spoke about this directly with parents at our senior banquet.

Many people involved in youth soccer feel this tension.

There are increasingly complex schedules, heightened emotions, concerns about advancement, and countless external pressures. Yet despite all of that, we still have a responsibility to provide the best possible experience and educational opportunities for players.

That responsibility doesn’t disappear because the environment becomes more challenging.

If anything, it becomes more important.

Protecting Community

Anthony DiCicco:

A huge part of leadership is creating and protecting space for players to have meaningful experiences.

There are definitely times when it feels like that space is shrinking.

There are pressures from parents, external organizations, changing structures, and broader trends within youth sports.

One of the things we often say at our club is that we’re a bit of a dinosaur. We represent a true community club at a time when many community-based organizations are being absorbed into larger structures.

I believe that’s worth protecting.

It’s worth fighting for.

It’s worth creating a place that reflects the identity of the players and families who belong there.

At its core, youth soccer should be about relationships, experiences, and community.

Those things matter.

At the same time, I also think we spend too much time fighting.

As leaders, we have to become more comfortable allowing players, coaches, and families to pursue opportunities that they believe are right for them.

If a player wants to try a different environment, support them.

If a coach wants to pursue a new challenge, support them.

Sometimes that may feel uncomfortable in the short term, but often it creates new opportunities for growth throughout the entire ecosystem.

A Structural Problem

Skye Eddy:

That idea of fighting for what matters brings me to something I’ve thought about often.

Years ago, I was speaking with Mark O’Sullivan, and he made a comment that fundamentally changed how I viewed many of the challenges in youth soccer.

He said, “We’re dealing with a structural issue.”

That observation stuck with me.

When we talk about stress, pressure, competition between clubs, league fragmentation, and the complexity families experience, many of those challenges aren’t simply individual problems. They’re structural problems.

As youth soccer continues to become more complex, families are being asked to navigate more choices, more leagues, more platforms, and more uncertainty than ever before.

The question becomes:

How much of the stress families feel today is being created by the structure of youth soccer itself?

That question became the foundation for the next phase of our discussion.

Section 2: Structural Challenges, League Complexity, and Club Standards

Skye Eddy:

One of the things I’ve come to realize is that many of the challenges we discuss in youth soccer are structural in nature.

Families today are navigating an increasingly complex landscape. There are more leagues, more platforms, more pathways, and more decisions than ever before.

Before we dive into this topic, I asked parents on the webinar to rate their stress level on a scale of one to ten regarding youth soccer. The responses came in quickly—and they confirmed what many of us already know.

Parents are feeling significant pressure.

The question is: How much of that pressure is being created by the structure of youth soccer itself?

The Challenge of Complexity

Tom Shields:

I operate across many of the major national platforms, so I experience these complexities firsthand every day.

What I hope is that much of the complexity we’re seeing is unintentional. I don’t believe that the people leading youth soccer organizations are actively trying to create more pressure for families.

However, the reality is that families are already navigating a complicated world. Then we layer youth soccer on top of that.

Parents are receiving information from multiple sources. They’re hearing conflicting opinions. Social media constantly amplifies different perspectives, many of which are presented as fact.

It becomes increasingly difficult to determine what information is actually relevant, what is factual, and what truly serves the best interests of players.

The result is confusion.

Families are left trying to sort through competing messages while making important decisions about their children’s development.

The Need for Better Standards

Tom Shields:

One of the challenges is that too much attention is often given to outcomes instead of environments.

As a youth soccer community, we need to spend more time discussing what best practice actually looks like.

What does a healthy youth soccer club look like?

What standards should clubs be expected to meet?

A few years ago, initiatives such as Players First began to move the conversation in that direction. Those efforts encouraged clubs to think about quality coaching, professional environments, appropriate training-to-game ratios, parent education, coach development, and other factors that directly impact player experience.

Those conversations matter because they shift the focus away from wins and losses and toward the quality of the environment itself.

When Youth Sports Become Over-Professionalized

Tom Shields:

One of my concerns is that we sometimes bring professional sports thinking into youth sports spaces where it doesn’t belong.

I’ve had passionate discussions around topics like playing time rules, substitution structures, and league regulations.

At some point, we have to ask ourselves:

Are we unnecessarily professionalizing a youth environment?

Families are investing significant time and money. Parents are taking time off work. Players are traveling long distances.

Yet some of the structures in place don’t necessarily improve the player experience.

In many cases, those structures actually create additional tension between coaches and families.

Often coaches are simply following the rules established by the leagues in which they participate, but parents naturally direct their frustrations toward the coach because that’s the relationship they see most directly.

Putting Player Experience First

Tom Shields:

If we’re serious about improving youth soccer, player experience must remain at the center of every conversation.

That requires greater collaboration among leagues, organizations, and governing bodies.

It requires acknowledging that many of these challenges are real and that families are experiencing them every day.

When we begin with the player experience, we move closer to creating the environments we all want for young people.

A National Club Standards Project

Skye Eddy:

One of the things that gives me optimism is hearing conversations within U.S. Soccer about developing club standards.

Imagine if there were nationally recognized standards related to coaching education, coaching quality, parent education, learning environments, player development, and sideline behavior.

Imagine if clubs were evaluated against those standards.

Imagine if participating at certain levels required organizations to demonstrate that they were meeting those expectations.

Could that help move the game forward?

Professionalizing Coaching

Tom Shields:

I believe it can.

One of the topics I’ve spoken about frequently is the transition from coaching as a vocation to coaching as a profession.

I don’t think we should apologize for pursuing higher standards.

The coaching profession is evolving, and that’s a positive thing.

At the same time, parents also have a role to play.

Many of the things that truly matter in youth development aren’t immediately visible.

Championships and results are easy to see.

Healthy environments are harder to evaluate.

Yet we’ve all seen examples of teams that win while operating in poor environments. We’ve also seen exceptional environments that may not always produce the strongest results on the scoreboard.

The challenge for families is determining what they truly value.

If parents can clearly identify the type of experience they want for their child, and if those values are reinforced by standards throughout the game, then I believe we’re moving in a very positive direction.

Concerns About Gatekeeping

Anthony DiCicco:

I agree with much of what Tom is saying.

At the same time, I do have concerns whenever standards become barriers to entry.

For example, licensing requirements can create unintended challenges.

The reality is that expensive coaching licenses often favor more affluent coaches, more affluent clubs, and individuals with greater flexibility.

For many part-time coaches who are trying to transition from passion to profession, the cost and time commitment associated with licensing can be significant.

We need to be thoughtful about that.

We absolutely should pursue excellence.

We absolutely should encourage professional growth.

But we also need to ensure that we’re creating pathways into coaching rather than inadvertently restricting them.

The Business of Youth Sports

Anthony DiCicco:

Another reality we have to acknowledge is that youth sports has become a massive industry.

Today, youth sports represents a multi-billion-dollar business in the United States.

As long as financial incentives remain at the center of many decisions, we’ll continue to face some of the same challenges.

The business of youth soccer has never been stronger.

The player experience has not necessarily improved at the same pace.

Too many organizations believe they need to attract all of the best players.

The reality is that our job is to help the players who choose our environment become better.

That’s the work.

And when players eventually move on to another opportunity, we should celebrate that success.

That happens all over the world.

Player movement isn’t a failure.

It’s often a sign that development is working.

Looking Beyond Elite Pathways

Skye Eddy:

One of the encouraging trends I’m seeing is a renewed focus on recreational and community-based experiences.

At Project Play and in other conversations around youth sports, we’re hearing more people ask an important question:

What do kids actually want?

Many children aren’t leaving sports because they lack ability.

They’re leaving because the experience has become too complicated, too stressful, or too adult-driven.

As we think about the future of youth soccer, perhaps one of the most important shifts is listening more closely to the voices of the players themselves.

Because when we simplify the experience and focus on what kids actually need, we often find ourselves moving closer to the true purpose of youth sports.

Section 3: Healthy Club Culture, Leadership, and Building Trust

Skye Eddy:

We’ve talked about structure and complexity, but I want to shift the conversation toward culture.

Both of your clubs are known for being intentional about the environments you create. You’ve both recently gone through tryouts, and we’ve all experienced significant changes in youth soccer over the last few years.

My question is this:

What responsibility do clubs have when it comes to reducing anxiety, creating healthy environments for families, and building a sense of community?

Personally, I think this has been a missing piece of the conversation for a long time.

Culture Is the Core of the Club

Anthony DiCicco:

For me, it’s the heart of everything we do.

Culture isn’t a side project. It isn’t an additional initiative.

It is the work.

There are aspects of some league structures that I really appreciate. I love opportunities where teams come together, where younger players can watch older players, where families can support one another, and where players can envision their future within the club.

Those moments help create community.

At the same time, the amount of stress families experience is enormous.

We’re still in the middle of tryouts. We’ve already made mistakes. I’ve made mistakes. Our staff has made mistakes.

That’s reality.

What matters is how we respond.

We have to approach this work with patience and humility because every player who walks into our environment deserves thoughtful consideration.

We also have to communicate clearly.

Families need to understand what the club stands for, what kind of experience we’re trying to create, and what expectations exist.

That sounds simple, but it’s incredibly important.

The Danger of Prioritizing the Club Over the Family

Anthony DiCicco:

One of the biggest problems I see is when organizations prioritize their own goals ahead of the needs of players and families.

Sometimes clubs choose the path of least resistance.

They make decisions that are easier for the organization rather than better for the player experience.

The reality is that creating a player-centered environment is hard.

It requires difficult conversations.

It requires transparency.

It requires putting people first even when it’s inconvenient.

But if we’re unwilling to do those things, we’re not serving families the way we should.

A Team-Centered Model vs. A Player-Centered Model

Anthony DiCicco:

Another challenge I see is our tendency to become overly team-centric.

I believe clubs should be player-centric.

Too often, a team becomes the priority instead of the individual players within that team.

A new player becomes available, and suddenly someone who has been loyal to the environment gets pushed aside because the club believes it can improve its chances of winning.

That’s a professional sports mentality.

In professional sports, that makes sense.

In youth sports, it often doesn’t.

Youth sports should be about serving players.

It should be about helping young people grow.

It should be about building relationships and creating community.

Winning matters, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of the people we’re responsible for developing.

Visibility Matters

Skye Eddy:

Tom, when you look across youth soccer, what do you think more clubs should be doing?

What are the gaps you see?

Leadership Must Be Visible

Tom Shields:

One of the first things I would challenge every club leader to do is become more visible.

Too many leaders hide behind titles, email addresses, and organizational structures.

Leadership requires presence.

If I’m responsible for making decisions that affect players, coaches, and families, then I also need to be available to explain those decisions.

Families should understand why we do what we do.

They should know who is making decisions and what principles guide those decisions.

Visibility creates trust.

When leaders are accessible, communication improves.

When communication improves, relationships improve.

And when relationships improve, culture improves.

Clubs Need a Shared Identity

Tom Shields:

The second challenge is that many organizations don’t truly operate as clubs.

They’re collections of teams.

There’s a difference.

If fifty coaches are all operating independently, each with their own philosophy, their own standards, and their own version of player development, you’re not really functioning as a club.

You’re functioning as fifty separate programs.

Healthy organizations have shared values.

They have a common philosophy.

They have alignment between leadership, coaches, and families.

That doesn’t mean every team looks exactly the same, but it does mean everyone understands the purpose behind what they’re doing.

Communication Creates Confidence

Tom Shields:

Families deserve clear communication.

That communication should happen early, consistently, and intentionally.

Parents should know what to expect.

Players should know what to expect.

Coaches should know what to expect.

When communication is absent, people fill the gaps with assumptions.

And assumptions almost always create problems.

Good communication doesn’t eliminate difficult situations, but it makes those situations easier to navigate.

The Importance of Feedback

Anthony DiCicco:

One thing that often gets overlooked is the importance of feedback.

Many organizations are afraid of it.

They’re afraid to hear that someone is unhappy.

They’re afraid to hear criticism.

They’re afraid of what they might learn.

But avoiding feedback doesn’t solve problems.

It allows them to grow.

If families don’t feel comfortable sharing concerns, those concerns eventually become frustrations.

Those frustrations become larger issues.

And by the time leadership becomes aware of them, the damage is often much greater than it needed to be.

The healthiest organizations create systems where feedback is welcomed rather than feared.

Humanizing the Experience

Tom Shields:

One of the things we often forget is that everyone involved in youth sports is human.

Players are human.

Parents are human.

Coaches are human.

Club leaders are human.

Everyone brings emotions, expectations, and challenges into the environment.

Sometimes coaches become defensive because they feel attacked.

Sometimes parents become frustrated because they feel unheard.

Sometimes players struggle because they feel misunderstood.

The solution is not perfection.

The solution is empathy.

If we can approach one another with a little more grace and a little more understanding, many of these barriers become easier to overcome.

Trust Is Earned

Tom Shields:

Trust doesn’t come from a title.

Trust doesn’t come from experience.

Trust doesn’t come from a position.

Trust is earned.

Every interaction either strengthens trust or weakens it.

Every conversation matters.

Every decision matters.

Every response matters.

The strongest club cultures aren’t built on policies.

They’re built on relationships.

And relationships are built through trust.

The Foundation of Soccer Parenting

Skye Eddy:

Listening to both of you, I’m reminded of something we’ve talked about at Soccer Parenting from the very beginning.

Trust is the foundation.

We believe collaborative relationships—with appropriate boundaries—between parents, coaches, and clubs are in the best interest of player development.

The common thread in everything we’ve discussed is trust.

Trust in leadership.

Trust in communication.

Trust in relationships.

Trust in intentions.

The clubs that create healthy cultures are the clubs that consistently earn that trust through their actions.

And when trust exists, players thrive.

When trust doesn’t exist, everything becomes more difficult.

That’s why culture matters so much.